Ravi Zacharias, Spiritual Abuse, & “Healing Thyself”
NOT AGAIN…
I don’t know about you, but I’m so discouraged to see so many Christian leaders (specifically men) over the past few years, who have used their power to suppress, abuse, steal, or enter into sexual relationships with others. As a Christian leader, it honestly terrifies me.
Most recently, more details have emerged about apologist and beloved writer, Ravi Zacharias, and the woman who supposedly “extorted” him with accusations of sexual misconduct. We’ve learned that the *real* story is quite the opposite. As you can imagine, Ravi has been crucified in many public conversations, and no doubt this casts a very sad shadow over the end of his life (if not his ministry and legacy as a whole). Jay Stringer wrote the following article, which is much more humanizing, but also a stark warning and call to Christian leaders — Don’t neglect the need for genuine inner healing, especially if you hold a platform of spiritual power.
A friend and local pastor asked me this question in response: “Can you imagine having already committed these sins, but have people continuing to call you ‘the apologist of the century’ and knowing that exposing these will hurt people, your legacy, your ministry, and have potential spiritual implications for your followers (and critics)?” What a scary, paralyzing prospect.
JAY STRINGER’S HELPFUL ARTICLE “THE SEXUAL BINGE-PURGE CYCLE OF EVANGELICAL MEN”
Read the article HERE.
“PHYSICIAN, HEAL THYSELF” (-JESUS)
Stringer’s message to Christian leaders is this: More important than your gifts (publishings, platform, skills, etc.) is the invisible and untold stories inside us, that need congruence and healing. We must address our own emptiness, anger, sadness, loneliness, and uncontrollable impulses.
“The best leaders face the biggest obstacles in front of them, even when that is their sexual life. We desperately need leaders not just addressing apologetics, how to exegete a text, or how to lead an organization… Ravi Zacharias’ legacy leaves me wondering how his apologetics and the effectiveness of his ministry might have been if he had the integrity and a context to address his sexual manipulation. I’d ask the same thing of you. As a leader, your gifting is so clearly seen. But how much more effective could your ministry be if you were attending to the untold stories within you?” (Stringer, 2020)
FOR COUNSELORS (LIKE ME), PASTORS, & SPIRITUAL LEADERS, WE MUST ACKNOWLEDGE:
That we ALWAYS have more healing to do. Just because you weren’t struggling this week, doesn’t mean you won’t be next week and there are probably new struggles/hurts/temptations/emotions to be revealed as time goes on. This is normal. But if you do not share, discuss, or explore these struggles, they will predictably GROW over time.
That we will CELEBRATE any and every time we talk about our internal lives, emotions, ongoing struggles, hurts, etc. In this regard, openness & vulnerability IS maturity, not a lack of struggle.
Our spiritual platform carries with it some innate LIES related to struggling as a Christian (“I’m supposed to not struggle” or “I’m supposed to be a role model who is above these things” or “People will only be hurt by my imperfections.”).
We need spaces and relationships that FREE us from our fear of reprisal. I’ve said it before, but that’s what makes counseling so unique: It’s supposed to be the *safest* place in the world. Leaders might need this space most of all.
If you are a Christian leader, I invite you to sit often with a trusted counselor, to find a space where you freely speak about your inner world, and where you can escape the real fear of being vulnerable.
WONDERFUL RESOURCES TOWARD THIS END:
Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Pete Scazzero. I’m currently reading this resource alongside the staff @ Reach Church. It is a wonderful exercise in coming back to Jesus, learning about your “shadow side,” accounting for your past, and prioritizing soul-care as a leader.
Redeeming Power: Understanding Authority and Abuse in the Church by Diane Langberg. Pre-order this book with me, which comes on on 10/20/20. Diane has so much experience and helps leaders learn about the unique ethics of holding spiritual power.
Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals our Way to Healing. This is the best book on sexuality (and sexual struggles) I’ve ever read. He took an area that drips with shame & silence and made it welcoming, safe, & honoring.